


Q and the hackers

by kitkatz221



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-02
Updated: 2013-08-02
Packaged: 2017-12-22 04:32:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/908958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkatz221/pseuds/kitkatz221
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Q has a hacking competition with a friend from the states.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Q and the hackers

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing
> 
> I know noting about hacking, totally guessing. I am not British so..yah, there are American Colloquialisms in there. sorry. 
> 
> fixed. yay. and added some things.

This was something Q had been really looking forward to. The minions were currently setting up the raised platform for the event. 2 high tables with a single laptop on each, facing the opposite direction to prevent cheating; each patched into the 4 large screens so the entire q-branch could see what was happening. There were no chairs; they had to stand the entire time, that was a rule.

As a pre event over the past few weeks, his minions were set against each other to test their coding and hacking prowess. The brackets were turning interesting. Before the main event the last 2 in the bracket were to compete; R, his second in command obviously and Francis, who was a surprise even to Q. He was smartbut no insinuative to do something without being asked. This competition would happen in an hour, after Q picked up the special guest from the airport and lunch. Bond would not forgive him if he skipped lunch again.

Q set this up after a long mission that strained his branch for an entire month. All his people were struggling to find fun in life. It was a bad month. Bets were allowed, but no money, only favors or jobs could be exchanged.  Originally it was days off, lunch, cleaning the others flat, wild loud just friend’s sex, anything went as long as both side’s agreed. Now the bets had just gotten ridiculous, most involved the less then government sanctioned tasks within the office.

Jamie was American. She was the equivalent of Q in the NSA. They had meet at a hacker convention in Stockholm the year before, kept in touch and thought it would be fun to compare skills. When Q called her about this idea, she fully agreed, she wasboard too. The criminals were being suspiciously quiet. MI6 was a little on edge waiting for the axe to drop, and from what he heard from Jamie the same was going on in the States.

"Nice Q, I'm jealous. At least it looks like you have windows. I am likening the old subway sheik you got going on." Jamie said as she entered Q-branch.

The minions all stopped working to look at the new arrival. Jamie looked just as intimidating as Q looked. Skinny as a rail, could use a sandwich, Red hair to her shoulders, glasses, average height and dressed in purple chucks, jeans tank top...and a dark blue cardigan. Some minions gave a snicker.

Neither noticed while minion 42 handed Q a fresh cup of Earl grey and asked Jamie what she wanted. "Um… the same. Thanks" she smiles a little surprised. "You trained them well. I hope no shock callers were involved” Q only gave her a sideways look. She didn't know how to take that.

"Alright Q-branch; time to start; R versus Francis. " Q said loudlyand the room had an excited air.

  
Q had set up a private server with modulating algorithms that after each security layer it increased the difficulty level 3 fold. Q thought, this should be fun.as they began Eve Moneypenny and Tanner turned up to watch. There were rumors going around about what the geeks did when things were slow. Slowly, Q noticed outside the glass paneled security door, some lower agents, finance, medical, culinary, and even a double 0 showed up just to watch. Some got board of the happenings and wondered off, many didn't.

Approximately 30 miniatures later the system shut downand the contest was over. R got to level 7 which was impressive and Francis to level 3 which was still good. The minions all made their bet exchanges. He overheard one say, "fine...I will clean your flat for a week, but if I find I spider, I'm leaving. " Q only shook his head and laughed. 

"Great job R. As the winner you have won a week off from the office and you don't have to repair any double 0 equipment for a month. Congratulations.” she squealed with delight,. That was new. "And Francis as runner up, you get a 3 day weekend and you don't have to repair 007s equipment for 2 weeks." He looked just as pleased as R did.

In truth, all the double 0’s were the bane of Q-branch. The equipment never came back in one piece. 007 was by far the worst, 6months ago minion 31 spent 40 hours piecing together reminisce of the equipment and he ended up with a piece left over.

Things settled downand minion 42 and 9 began to set up for the match:  Q versus Jamie. Q knew that the bets got more elaborate for Q's match. Exchanges included who would be responsible for his tea for a year, who had to knock on Q's office door when Bond was in the office, for a year. Q's favorite that he had overheard was who went through the security cameras and deleted any encounter Q and Bond had throughout the building for the next 6 months. Q had been handling that aspect since they started dating; all of Q-branch knew what he was doing mostly because security and M came down asking why 20 minutes of footage from the closet on the 3rd floor was missing. M knew why it was missing, but he at least wanted someone to fess up to doing it. The minions were very loyal to their Q. If their boss ever wanted to rule the world he already had a small army of geeks that could topple the country if their boss asked thought a few keystrokes’ in their pajamas. M just shook his head and went back to his office.

Q and Jamie went to the raised platform and were both handed new cups of tea.

There was still a rather large crowd outside the security doorsand Q noticed some bets were being made out there as well.

Both geniuses prepared themselves. Q set up another server off campus for this very event. He and Jamie had each contacted hacker friends to work together to set up the ultimate challenge. MI6 people were not the only ones watching this, so were many hackers remotely.

This was going to be fun.

Bond entered Q-branch to an odd sight. He had forgotten this was happening today; he actually had a day off, which was a rare event thanks to the criminal class being so quiet. He woke up in the flat alone with a note on the side table a note telling him to come into the office around 3.

Q-branch was always strange. He had gotten used to it only because he popped in so much. But this was an interesting odd. He saw Eve and Tanner sitting in the back watching 2 people on the raised platform, that Q usually overloaded Q-branch from, typing incredibly fast, staring at the large screen in front of them. No chairs. A Mental and physical competition; interesting.

"How long have they been going?" Bond asked eve.  
"2 hour and 4 cups of tea for Q and 3 for Jamie". She responded, completely hypnotized by the events.

Bond noticed 2 minions running around getting more tea, snacks and whatever else either would need.

"How will we know when it's over, is there a time limit?" Bond asked.  
"We'll occasionally they will yell done, so I think they are going after the same target trying to hack it first. The server Q set up has over 1000 challenges thanks to his contacts." Tanner responded.

"Done!" Q yelled, Jamie groaned. Then they went at it again.  
"Done!" Jamie yelled after 5 min. Q groaned. This went back and forth for another hour. They were both even.

“ Your partner is Hot” came an American accent. Jamie.   
“Yes, he is quite desirable to look at” Q said with a small smile.  Both still typing furiously.  
“I bet he is fantastic in bed”  
“And the table, the desk, the closet, sofa.” Came the reply  
Jamie giggled, minions snickered, Eve snorted, and Bond just gave a smile.  
“ I would love to borrow him for a night, you know quality assurance” She said with a hint of humor. “DONE!” she yelled  
“Shite” came Qs response.  Obviously Jamie was distracting him.  
“He received plenty of QA while on missions, I don’t think he needs any at home, after all I have no complaints.” Q said while concentrating on the new challenge.  
“I think you and his quality assurance marks are a bit bias.” Q didn’t respond so she went on. “You are obviously bias because your dating him, and his..friends are because Bond wants something from them, they want something from him, he is an enormous flirt, I mean just look at him. I also want to include the fact you have phone sex with him over the comm system, so in reality he may be having sex with a target, but he is thinking of you” She said very calmly.  
Q stopped typing for a split second, completely disarmed and blushing.  
“Done!” cried Jamie.

Q was now behind by 2. And obviously a little flustered.   
“ Im just saying if I had someone I was deeply attracted to I would want a second opinion.”   
Q scoffed “No you wouldn’t. you just want to bed my gorgeous boyfriend”   
“True, I was hoping you would give in just a little”  
“What happened to Ben?” Q inquired  
“Oh that little shit, he is now somewhere in the Sudan office.  He got transferred somehow after I caught him with an intern.” She mused  
“Ah, I bet he learned his lesson, to never piss off a hacker.” Q laughed and cried “ Done!”   
“Ha! So did his entire office who knew what was going on.  Let’s just say I was informed through a memo that “personal emails of those employed by the NSA were not condoned as targets, and information discovered was not to be released to those significant others”, or in other words, I sent the wives, husbands, girlfriends, and boyfriends of those in the office personal details about their significant other.  They still won’t talk to me without someone from legal with them. Hell!” She lost that round and Q turned and gave her a teasing wink.   
“So no one else you fancy? Someone who is insane as you?” Q asked.   
“No sadly, but im still betting on having a bit of fun with …” Jamie stopped mid-sentence.  

Something changed, an alarm beeped.

Q's posture changed. So did Jamie's. "Q have you ever seen this before?" Jamie asked with hesitancy. Then the screens flickered.

There was no talking; just a loud crash of movement from the minions jumping on their computers. Everyone typing.

The onlookers looked at each other not sure what to do. Bond got up and walked to the platform.

"Q, um, what is going on?" He asked unsure if he would get a response.

Q and Jamie were concentrating and didn’t answer for a moment, then each turned to look at the main screen. Therewere a stream ofnumbers bond had no idea what it meant, but seeing the look on both their faces meant things did not bode well.   
"James, please inform M that something is very wrong, the building will go into lockdown in 2 minutes someone is hacking the system from the inside."

Bond looked over to Tanner who was already on the phone with M. He was now informed.

"Q, what is this? I have never seen this before" Jamie whispered.

Suddenly Q said “Help me move the tables, we need to see everything.  Aided by Jamie and soon Bond, they moved the tables to a triangle so both could see all the screens around them.

"Ok, Jamie go after the alpha line, I will go after the secondary and beta. Then prioritize after that. "Q said

There want much talking after that. There were a lot of tense moments and some swearing. The minions were helping where they could or refillingtea.

5 hours, lots of tea, and some choice swearing in an encyclopedia of languages from both people on the platform that even impressed Bond, the lights began to flicker ominously.

Bond, Eve, and Tanner looked aroundbut it didn't seem to faze anyone else in the room. Then there was a laugh coming from Q. A maniacal and crazy laugh Bond could only assume happened because the threat had lifted. All the minions stopped working and looked that their boss. Q turned around.

  
"James, take as many double 0’s you can find and go to the 5th floor cafeteria, north side, by the window." Q brought up a security camera view. There was a man sitting at a laptop with a smug smile on his face.

  
Bond ran out and grabbed 003, 006, and 009 who had all been watching what was happening. Since the building was in lock down they didn't feel the need to go wonder around. It was assumed by most all the action was in Q-branchand they would be deployed from there, they assumed right.

Q turned back to the screen and went back to typing. 

Everyone watching the screen saw the man in the cafeteria tackled and held at gunpoint while his laptop battery was removed to cut the link inside MI6.

  
Over the next few hours Bond got one of the minions to explain to him, Eve and Tanner what had happened. Q was busy trying to clean up the mess to explain.

The man in the cafeteria was an low level employee of MI6 who was paid very well to set up a laptop that had access to the MI6 systems while opening a port to the outside and allowing the criminal class that had been so quiet, to mount a full scale attack on the servers. Little did these criminals know that Q was planning to have the one of the best hackers in the world helping him on site.

After everything was cleaned up Q announced that himself and Jamie had tied and therefore anyone who did not specify a tie, lost. There were groans from everyone except 3 minions. They had bet on a tie. Lucky them. Sadly they didn't have that much confidence in that bet and only got a few drinks and a dinner or two from their coworkers.

"We'll, that was fun Q. Sorry we never figured out who actually won the contest." Jamie's said with amusement.

"Maybe next year we can try it again, I'm just happy you were here when they decided to attack. I asked my contacts that set up the server to” Q hesitantly thought of the proper word “occupy those involved until I get back to the office and do some proper damage to these people." Last report Q received from Anonnomousfox (a very creative hacker)  was that some charities received some nice donations, embarrassing pictures were sent to twitter, personal ads with contact information was posted, and red light across the world were malfunctioning.

"I hope you will save some fun for me when I get home, I have a few tricks up my sleeves.  Alsowe still need to discuss that QA arrangement" Jamie winked, hugged Q and Bond and boarded the plane to go home.

"Let's go home; my friends will take care of things till the morning” Q said, Bond gave him a hug. “Ok let's go home"

 


End file.
